Ethereal Wound

impure_teen @ 2007-07-17T01:43:00

2007-07-17T06:31:26Z

I don't know how to describe so many things in this world, and sometimes I wonder. What does having parents who stay together forever feel like? What does losing a loved one feel like? What does having someone hated take their own life feel like? Comfort, despair, relief? Beyond the political correctness of sadness of hapiness, how primal are we? How basic and simple am I? I fought with Mark today; now he's 16, yet he weighs more than I do (hurrah obesity!). I don't know why I'm so angry at him, whether its the fact he has no job, no school, no responsibilities, and yet I'm tied to everyone in 10,000 different directions. The one thing I know for sure, is that I don't hate my life enough to dig myself into the rhetorical hole he spins himself in. Eventually, I believe I'll see the fruits of my labour. I guess after fighting with him I wondered if I would still hate him if he died, if I would be haunted by my harsh words or reactions. I'd like to think no, as harsh as it sounds - but perhaps its just my own anger speaking instead of rationality.

FFXI-wise, I've currently sitting at level 66SMN, with all the avatars, the AF (obviously), and even Carbuncle Mitts. I've attained sky access, and with OrganizedChaos - my new LS, I'm happy to explore Al'Taieu more.

More to come this week, when I'll explain my new job.

Party Fighting Crabs in Mount Zhaylom

Waiting to fight Diabolos Prime

Outside Aht Urghan Whitegate's Mog House

UoGuelph ~_~

2006-09-28T12:48:17Z

Okay so here I am, all moved in, the third week of school. Its a thursday morning, and only about 8:30am. My class, a seminar, is at 10am and is Political Science. Just shoot me now.

I guess being in university is good, I mean, I enjoy completely so much more than high school. The general assumption of responsibility is what makes me go to class (lol that is, when I do).
A lot has happened in the last 4 months, and its weird that I'm even coming back to Livejournal, but I thought about why I made it in the first place, and now I think its because I wanted to have a general storyline of my life that I can look back on eventually. I suppose I'll try to post more regularly now that I've got a bit of time to spare at school here and there.

So this is how my semester is atm:

Bachelor of Arts Honours: Philosophy Program

Spanish
Philosophy
Political Science
Music
Sociology

Spanish is my favourite course, because its an introductory course and I'm nearly fluent. xD The music course I'm taking, is Applied Music 1500, which is an audition-only course. After auditioning on the 5th, I was emailed to say that, specializing in piano, I would have a private teacher once a week. Hence how this program actually works. You get a teacher once a week, and she gives you two songs to play. The only grading in the course is the final performance, which is those two pieces, by memory, in a showcase for multiple members of the staff.

Brahms

Ballade Opus 10
http://www.modland.netfirms.com/midi-classical.htm

Beethoven

Rondo C Major - Opus 51 Nr. 1
http://www.midiworld.com/beethoven.htm

Oye... this is my first year uni songs that I'm expected to play. :S They're both quite challenging and long. I know they may sound a little simple at first, but meh, THEY ARE GR 10+ RCM so psh.

Aside from piano, and university, and the general pressures of everyday life, I decided on so many levels that I hate Brampton. Now I can generally come back on weekends, taking the GO bus after school on friday and coming back up on the sunday. Its only one bus, and its pretty convenient considering. But on Saturday night, the 28th, I was mugged walking back to Bryan's apartment complex.

Yup. MUGGED. By 4 black guys. SO, I'm going to explain how this happened:

So I decided to go see family on the Saturday, because I had relatives over and the like. It was great at the time. Everyone was there, and it was good to catch up with everyone. it had been a while, even before I left in general, that everyone had actually sat down and been civil. So it was nice for a change. The time right there was about 9pm. So Bryan and I headed out to McDonald's.

Technically, I'm still working here, even though I have no shifts. So, I got some food, and was able to say hi to a lot of people I hadn't seen in a couple weeks. Everyone was excited and sad that I had left, so that made me feel wanted >:) Kinda horrible how that works, but meh, thats life. So after saying my goodbyes, we take off up to Torbram and catch the 14 going south along towards Queen. It was supposed to come at 9:43, but it was a couple minutes late. After this, I lost track of time.

So the bus passes Queen Street, and we head to Clark. That's where we get off the bus. All good so far. The apartment buildings are about a collective 6-7 minutes walk, or even less if its brisk. Walking west (toward the mall) we turned left (south) onto Eastbourne, which is his street. At the corner of Eastbourne and Clark, there is a huge church, and its fairly new. New as in, bright lights, large area, generally high tech. Looking over at the church, I noticed 4 black guys that were propped against the wall of the church.

"Oh fuck..." I whisper to myself. We pick up the pace, and maybe 45 seconds later, we were sucker jumped from behind. Of the four guys, two jumped against Bryan, and two against me. One guy already had his arm around my neck, and the other one hit me in the head several times. They told me to empty my pockets so I did; but there was nothing in there but petty change. Furious, they hit me more and demanded what was in my bag (just schoolbooks), and then my ring. HA! I wasn't about to hand that over, so I said no. They hit me more, but I swung back and hit someone. The black guy on my back fell backwards, pulling me onto the street. OH yea~! I should say how we were all right next to the main road, and how no one, til now, had stopped.

But yes, someone did stop, and the man got out and was scaring off the kids with the horn. The two got off me and started running. He saw my IpoD, which I guess he hadn't seen up until then, and tried to take it. I didn't let him, and twisted his hand.

The guy asked us if we were ok, and I guess I was; I was bleeding slightly, I had a huge headache + tons of bruises, and I was very emotionally shaken.

The police came after we got inside and they took full reports from both of us. After all that, they got Bryan's MP3 player from him, but nothing from me. Bryan complied with them, so he didn't get hurt. Apparently, they didn't hit him once, as opposed to how I got hit like... 7 or 8 times?

but thats life. So now I have huge reservations about going into Brampton ever again, mostly because now I don't care as much to either.

And that brings me up to the current day.

impure_teen @ 2006-05-31T00:38:00

2006-05-31T04:42:34Z

This is my essay on Japanese degradation due to war. I'll post tomorrow moreso bout everything I've missed in the last couple months.

Culture shows how truly civilized humanity is; society is built upon aspects such as the arts and tradition, rather than their militaristic and imperialistic qualities. Culture encompasses humanity’s philosophical and spiritual depth, and culture itself is the embodiment of that depth through acts and rituals. Culture is a delicate thing. When war arises in a country, either civil or foreign, culture is often sacrificed to fulfill the country’s need to survive. This sacrifice is more of a decline than a sudden butchery, and although it is impossible to measure the long-term effects of degradation, the result is often irreparable. The Chinese have many times employed ‘Scorched Earth’ destroying countless resources of both cultural and natural origin. Spanish conquistadors suppressed the Inca of Peru, and eventually snuffed their civilization. Frédéric Chopin represented a pinnacle that Poland was restrained from for decades after the Second World War. The novels Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, The Setting Sun by Osamu Dazai, and Eight Million Gods and Demons by Hiroko Sherwin reveal Japan’s culture, in a state of abundance before several wars and its degradation throughout them. In the texts, Japan’s inability to cope with change throughout wartime causes its culture to degrade. The government’s refusal to address poverty and financial stresses, the loss of individuality and embracement of the mass, and the undermined value of morality are all key, pivotal triggers to the balancing act between degradation and stagnation of culture. In an age where a canvas would use all of a citizen’s money to eat, creativity is stifled because it is of less worth than life.

Financial stresses are evident in all three books; Sayuri in Memoirs of a Geisha relies completely on her existence as a geisha to support herself. The geisha districts are seen as a drain on resources, both manpower and money, which could be used for the war’s sustenance. Although it is many women’s only means of yen “the government . . . announced the closing of the geisha districts” (Arthur Golden, 393), placing the needs of the country’s survival over the citizen’s. Geisha represented a huge cultural diversity since, as children, they would “take lessons in things like music, dance, and tea ceremony” (Golden, 51). Even the name ‘Geisha’ itself, ‘gei’ meaning arts in Japanese, describes the nature of Sayuri and her way of life. After the closing of the districts, most geisha who had been revered as prominent artisans of culture were forced to stop creating dance and playing the shamisen to earn a living in promotion to the war. Trying to earn her living in the war is stressful because her skills lie in the now unappreciated arts, and the government fails to acknowledge this flaw in its citizens. Without money, the culture of Japan slowly degrades; the annual performance ‘Dance of the Old Capitol’, a spectacle of music and dance “hadn’t been seen for a number of years” (Golden, 417) even after the war ended.

In The Setting Sun, citizens that enjoy the culture rather than perform within it represent another hardship to promoting artisans: the money spent on public spectacles is now nonexistent. This money is used to pay for housing and food, and in many cases even that money is now insufficient. As World War II enters its early stages, Kazuko exclaims that “those days [before bombings in Japan] were the last in which the dying embers of . . . happiness still glowed” (Osamu Dazai, 45) and as the financial strain becomes heavier, culture is slowly reduced. Kazuko’s mother who loves to garden and listen to traditional Japanese music is forced to move into a smaller house and abandon the birthplace of her children, and the memories of her dead husband. Her mother eventually loses the will to live and decides “the best thing for [her] would be to die . . . in this house where [Kazuko’s] father died.” (Dazai, 19). The emotional strain of finances, something not many people are fluent with dealing with, demeans the value of life for many of Japan’s citizens. This suicidal behaviour shows how as the quality of life degrades, culture takes no precedence whatsoever. Culture does not thrive in the environment of depression and suicide.

The government is firstly addressing its own financial problems represented in Eight Million Gods and Demons. Late in the war, soldiers collect metal from residences for weapons and jewellery for money. All resources are amazingly stripped of the people and used to support war. Emi’s house is no exception as “[the soldiers] removed the wrought iron gate . . . lattices of the outhouse . . . and removed iron latches from the chests and doors” (Hiroko Sherwin, 261). Kimono and other fabrics, symbolically which represent Japanese beauty and craftsmanship, are confiscated to become parachutes or other tools in the war. The message that this sends to kimono creators, metallurgists, and other craftsmen is that war takes precedence over culture. The government creates an atmosphere where effort and money in cultural purposes are financially unwise. When the people do not have financial support, they cannot create in a safe environment and therefore do not. There are some who believe that this sacrifice is necessary and should override culture, such as Kana. The government’s stability is viewed by Kana as integral, and “luxury is [Japan’s] biggest enemy” (Sherwin, 213). While this stability is necessary to preserve the lives of the Japanese, the individuality of the person is sacrificed, which in turn compounds with financial stresses to further degrade culture. Necessity is culture’s true enemy.

Individuality isn’t a cherished quality when referring to war. It is easily assumed that if everyone acts and reacts identically, then an army is much more functional. This is where culture and war have a very different survival technique: culture survives on individuality, while war on the mass. In Memoirs of a Geisha, the geishas are expected to work in factories. With no attention to their background or skills in arts, they are viewed plainly as another worker. Sayuri witnesses firsthand that “Korin ended up working in a factory south of [Gion], fitting lenses into the equipment used for dropping bombs from airplanes]” (Golden, 392). Korin, a geisha of mediocre stature, was now covered in soot and extremely malnourished. She is no longer able to represent the arts with her body, or study difficult kanji characters with her tutor; those who dedicate themselves to war, usually by force, degrade culture in the process. Just like Korin, citizens inability to cope with the change that wartime brings, causes the balance of culture and necessity to shift.

Similarily in The Setting Sun Kazuko is conscripted to help the war through working at a secret base within the mountains. There a commanding official explains to the group of close to 500 men and women that “[they] will now be working in military positions just like soldiers” (Dazai, 38). Essentially, all of Japan’s citizens work as soldiers, because if “the Army has work for you, [then] you yourself must go” (Dazai, 38). This high dedication to the war also shows that there is no time for cultural enhancement. Kazuko, who plays a delicate shamisen, is now “a woman who is not particularly distressed even by the hardest labour in the fields” (Dazai, 41). Throughout the war, culture declines so rapidly and there is very little creativity developed through labour. In the wars between Imperialistic Japan and China over Korea, soldiers were commissioned into kamikaze and kaiten missions, and staying alive was the first priority.

Shun in Eight Million Gods and Demons is labelled a coward for not wishing to die because of the “great weapon called kaiten torpedo [that] has been created” (Sherwin, 293). The kaiten torpedo is an underwater suicide attack that without question kills the user. The generals do not care about who Shun is, or who he is not; the generals care about the amount of bodies that can be used to accomplish their mission. The loss of individuality here is incredibly stifling to culture, which is a privilege to both the country and its citizens. Ironically, a war to preserve a country usually degrades it secondarily. Morality as well is also intertwined in the culture of a nation. Dismissal of morality, paired with loss of individuality and financial strain ensure degradation of culture.

Morality can be defined in many ways, but it is easier to describe the difference between morality before and during wartime. The lack of the consideration for human life is highly representational of how Japan’s morality is set aside in wartime. In The Setting Sun, Naoji is addicted to opium throughout World War II, and this is just a small representation of how many people are psychologically ill. He, just like others, is suicidal and knows “life is too painful, the reality that confirms the universal belief that it is not best to be born” (Dazai, 81). The atmosphere of Japan is drained and dismal, “even perfectly normal people become rather peculiar . . . if they work in Tokyo – what with all the confusion” (Dazai, 45). Wartime is so destructive to the routines and lives of Japan’s citizens that “a semi-invalid . . . might go berserk in no time” (Dazai, 45) because the absence of familiar things is stressful.

Culture cannot flourish in a chaotic, stressful world, and Japan becomes uncivilized. If it is true that “a civilized man become a beast in different circumstances” (Sherwin, 242) then culture is completely tied to the people of the country. Becoming “used to the savageries” (Sherwin, 242) toughens the mindset of the citizens in the war. As the war becomes more and more dire, culture degrades to the point where culture is unnecessary; a culture cannot recover to its former state once it has been deemed unnecessary by the people who employ it.

Sayuri seeks the help of her danna to survive the stressful wartimes, hoping her cultural tie to him will grant her some exclusive treatment. She seeks personal escape and the war shows how she can abandon her adoptive family to do so. But she is reached with a cold attitude and reality that she is not the first person to approach the general for help. Eventually, “even holding . . . panic at arm’s length seemed more than [Sayuri] could manage” (Golden, 395), and she is psychologically stressed to admit to her own belittlement by the war. Losing a war can patriotically destroy a country and its citizens, and this is something extremely hard to adjust to. The ideal to continue fighting destroys Japan’s culture from within because a country in a losing war becomes so stressed morally that creativity is stifled. The things that support an elaborate and intricate culture degrade, and culture along with it.

The texts all describe Japan in war. From many viewpoints, war is shown to destroy Japan’s ancient culture of kimono, geisha, and samurai. How Japan changes from before wartime to after, proves that culture is so delicate, that a period of as little as 10 years can drastically change a country forever. Financial, emotional, and moral strains place huge burdens on the people that live in Japan during wartime. The result is an unstable culture that has no choice but to go through reforms if it wants to survive at all. These stresses exist because the people cannot adjust to the new burdens on them. Most often, these burdens exceed the temperament of human beings, and culture degrades regardless of the human will. Culture is, as mentioned before, a privilege. A privilege such as culture, of such grand immensity and impact cannot simply be taken away, it must be lost. War is the means of losing one’s culture.

Wow so tomorrow is my Chopin performance. I'm really scared about it, but I think I'll do ok -

Sonata No. 2 in Bb minor, Op. 35
III Marche funèbre: Lento
Mazurka, Op. 24, No. 1
Prelude #15 in D-flat, Op. 28 #15
Mazurka, Op. 67, No. 4
Nocturne no.1 in Bb minor, Op.9 no.4

I'm playing these 5 songs... wish me luck ^_^

I must make a list of everything that has happened in the last two months o.o

Painkillers W00t!

2006-03-10T22:21:21Z

So I went through surgery yesterday. It all went well considering: I was knocked out no problem through IV, and I got major painkillers to take home. At first, I felt sick because of the anasthetic so I almost threw up on the way home. I was a bit drowsy and slept awhile. Bryan came over and nursed me for the time I couldn't speak/eat/drink etc.

So now I have three bottles of pills, antibiotics, antiinflammatory and painkillers. Yay! So much to remember lol.

But yea, can't eat solid food, from time to time I spit up blood.

Theres very little pain because I do very little to aggravate anything. So I think I'll be eating solid food as early as tomorrow. OR EVEN TONITE! Depends whether i want pizza or not. lol

Surgery

2006-03-08T04:38:56Z

Thursday I go in to have all 4 wisdom teeth extracted.

:x I hate surgery, and doctors and hospitals, and offices.....

Friends Only

2005-11-05T19:19:27Z

___________________________________________________________________________________________________
From here on, users viewing this Journal have been restricted to friends'. If you wish to be added, comment.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kuftal Crabs and Level 54

2005-11-01T21:50:38Z

Monday Oct. 31 | EXP Party: Kuftal Crabs and Level 54.

Today was very productive. Completely dedicated to Experience gain and partying, 7 hours gained me not only level 53, but level 54 aswell.

_____________________________________________
EXP PARTY SETUP #1 SETUP:

Camp: Kuftal Tunnel
Mob: Crabs/Lizzies
Area: Guivre (NM) Spawn Point
Total Exp Gained: 10,000 (w/ Empress Band)

EXP PARTY #2 SETUP:

Camp: Kuftal Tunnel
Mob: Crabs
Area: Zone into Cape Terrigan
Total Exp Gained: 2,000
______________________________________________

Now I am Level 54
EXP
998
NEXT Level
11,600

There is no spell learned at level 54, but at level 53 I learned Firaga II, which did a high of 498 with the Fire Staff equipped on Lizards.

_______________________________________________

Now all that needs to be completed is AF for this level and I am up to date. Hopefully, the Garlaige Citadel quest + coffer can be completed on Nov. 1st.

Recollections: The Quest for Wizard's Sabots

2005-10-31T06:53:51Z

Cyarin

Server: Hades
Nation: San D'Oria
Rank: 7
Race: Tarutaru
Gender: Male
Linkshell: Hopeless
Title: Archmage Assassin
Your Main Job: Black Mage
Your Sub Job: Summoner
Attack: 95
Defense 184
Gil: 35,000

Sunday Oct. 30th | Recollections: The Quest for Wizard's Sabots.
With Leapra's assistance, we used [Teleport-Vahzl] to arrive in Xarcabard in the high north region of Valdeaunia. We proceeded into the Castle Zvahl Baileys. We went through the castle and killed several demons, ones that claimed to hold the [Whine Cellar Key]. After about an hour of moving through the Baileys', and killing another Demon Commander, the Cellar Key dropped. We headed into the Zvahl Keeps, and located the Magical Doll sealed behind the door. Using the key, which broke, I obtained the doll and warped back to Jeuno. From there I took the Jeuno-Windurst airship and spoke with Chumimi in the Heaven's Tower basement located in central Windurst Walls. After examining the expended doll, I was rewarded a pair of [Wizard's Sabots] for my troubles and went on my way. Thanks go out to Crbrian, Lazzara and Yeti for their help.

I am still 600xp tnl to level into 53, at which time I will learn Firaga II.

Hopefully, tomorrow, I will gain the last exp and level into 53. Aswell, I now have this list of Coffer Keys to acquire before lvl 60:
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
AF3 (Wizard's Gloves) - Garlaige Citadel Coffer

___________________________________________________________________________________________________
AF4 (Wizard's Tonban) - Eldieme Necropolis Coffer

___________________________________________________________________________________________________
AF5 (Wizard's Coat) - Monastic Cavern Coffer

Hopefully I will have all this completed by the end of the month (November of course). Updates to be expected.

Sound of the Drum

2005-10-26T13:20:04Z

The last couple days have been very hectic, school-wise at least. I have to create a custom magazine for Writer's Craft, and of course, I decided to do a cheap imitation of Fab. But come to think of it, Fab is just a cheap imitation itself haha.

Anywayz, I have to write two articles, but I need more to fill up the space of the magazine, plus, if it looks really cool, I might even keep it.

If anyone is up for writing a small article on a gay issue that bothers or intrigues you, let me know, and that might help me out ^_^ Besides, I like to read people's opinions, I always find myself discovering something new about the people I already know.

And if you wanna pose for photographs in it, thats a bonus too. I have to have pictures on every page, either as background, edited, cropped, and if you write an article, i need a pic to give you credit.
______________________________________________________

In other news, I haven't exactly decided what to do for a costume this hallowe'en. I narrowed it down to two choices, which was either drag, which would be fun but so overplayed, or my handmade wolf-stripper costume from last year. <3 I loved that costume.
______________________________________________________

And in FF news, I reached LV.50 BLM ~ WooT! [Freeze] = 307 MP of ecstasy.
______________________________________________________

What to do this weekend . . .?

Hmmm.

2005-10-23T18:20:20Z

Lotz of G + Lotz of Good Weed = I thought I was gonna die.

*Can't remember anything that happened last nite*

All i know is, I had sex, I now have a "boyfriend", and he has good drugs.

Time to head back to Brampton...

Homophobia

2005-10-20T05:33:45Z

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a
lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire
a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight
through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried
our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the
hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the
room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken
away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish
they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the
attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will
probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed
myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to
bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found
out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who
never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the
management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit
the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother
because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence
survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they
found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence
survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the
father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection
to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach
gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who
died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was
transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be
a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating
me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't
believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person
who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you
think homophobia is wrong.

Dark

2005-10-19T16:44:49Z

Ths week has been hectic to say the least. So busy I still haven't posted about last weekend, which is okay, the memory is still fresh the wednesday after.

All day saturday was spent downtown. I hung out in Etobicoke with a friend before getting driven back into Brampton. From there, me, Derek, Collin, Alex, and Jackie bussed down to go to Fly. We ate, Jackie got her fake I.D., We met up with Chris and his new friend... ugh... well he was asian, and he had gum, so I ate some lol.

It was about 7 when we arrived and did all this stuff. Getting Jackie's I.D. was funny because at first we couldn't find the store. Finally, I give my friend Nathan a call HOPING that he'd know, being a downtown junkie anywayz hah. And he did, and we walked to it from Church. It took an hour to make her I.D. because so many people were ahead of her, but she got it at about 8:30, after we had eaten and the rest of them had found a place to stay. Roberto~'s place lol. He's funny cuz he's black.

Hanging out with Crissy is always fun though. We went to Roberto's and chilled there for a while. It was about 10 when we got there. We left about 10:30, and unfortunately, they were gonna have to pay for cover ($20 each) because noone could move their ass! It was funny tho, cuz we all smoked some weed beforehand and didn't really care.

After getting to Fly, me and Crissy took off to subway. I wasn't stayingthe night in Toronto becuase it was Tia's birthday and I thought I should show. Even though she really doesn't deserve me there for talking about me behind my back, I thought I'd be nice anywayz.

So me and Crissy walked around Church for a little while since my bus didn't hit Finch til 11:45. We saw alot of people, alot I didn't know, but some.

The weirdest thing about that time was that I walked by this guy standing under the awning of a store. And I recognized him even though we never met. I knew almost right away tho that his name was Collin. I could tell from the four piercings on his lips. Me and Criss both thought he was so cute. I stopped him and talked for awhile, and eventually he recognized me by saying: "You were... blonde rite?" and bingo! I was discovered. But we had to leave, because my bus would be there soon.

We boarded the subway, making fun of fat and ugly people along the way, and rode it up to Finch. <3 Criss, cuz i don't find him boring.

I got on the bus and took it to Queen and Torbram, where I walked home. Going to Tia's would've just got me in shit w/ my mom since she's been freaking about my cokelove. XD its ok, could've been worse.

Oh in the day I bought a new surround sound card (7.1) for my computer. I took off the backing, installed it myself, and changed the BIOS in the computer. Wow, I thought to myself. I'm so smart x.x

Lol <3 Lego - I hope Bryan and his friends can come visit me, I know Canada is a little far, but we'd have so much fun. The plans are in motion~

This week I worked Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday, for a grand total of 28 hours. I will kill myself but after I get paid. Which is tomorrow too! On Friday I am getting my hair layered, died base blonde, with highlights. UGHHH i will be so sexy. Then I'm going downtown for Bitchslap and then Saturday is the hop.

The week will end on a high note.

Matt & I vs. Stefan

2005-10-14T13:13:30Z

This is what I do in computer class ahah.

Broken Hallelujah

2005-10-13T18:41:35Z

I like having school, it keeps me regulated. All the people I see, going downtown everyday, getting fucked up everyday, it just seems like a little too much. Truth is, once you leave the scene, ocne you head back to wherever you live and crawl into your bed, nothing you did that day matters. Who you maced, who you slept with, what you took, nothing matters. And when you leave the scene, you better be damn sure who you take with you, and how much you let them know.

There are some friends, some people I choose to call in my own time. People that have general concern and aren't depressing to associate with. The list of gay people that I like as genuine humans is short; not alot of people can be a person to have fun with, and a person to be serious with.

Thanksgiving was great, and I'm honestly proud of myself for not going to FEAST after having been awake the past couple of days for over 40 hours.

"True Love~ 5ive and Steamy's" - Posted on 2005.10.06 at 23:01

So on Friday after working for 7 hours (4 - 11), I agreed to take my friend's (Raman) shift from 7:30-3:30 the next day. I owed her for it, and I thought work would keep me busy enough to keep me in Brampton. For awhile at least. I worked that shift, went home and then went to my friend Deidre's. She has a brother named Dakota, and he's, somewhat... in love with me? XD I can't stop joking with Deidre about me being her brother-in-law soon. We just watched Phantom of the Opera, and chilled with her mom. Her mom is like the coolest person I know now XD Pure cougar, and she was soo interested in gay life~ mostly cuz she's a lesbian and her son is gay.

So I went home to sleep, and the next day I worked from (9 - 5) and made it through without sleeping on the job at all haha. I went home to Thanksgiving dinner. My grandma came down to visit and had been cooking turkey all day, and the dinner was quite a banquet. It was more than I could eat, and that says alot. XD I regained 5 pounds after losing 18 the previous 3 weeks.

The next day I saw my dad. Things are well with him and I'm glad I'm speaking to him again. It's under the assumption now that I need to be at home because my life is too hectic to see him every weekend as he does my brothers. So we drove into Markham to see my aunt and join a family feast of about 50 people. When we got there however, there was noone there. We were so confused, so we called my aunt and yep, it was the day before. LOL it was sooo funny. Instead we went to the mandarin and I had Suckling Pig as a substitute for turkey ^^. I loved the mandarin, except their sushi is not raw, which sucks, it tastes like shyt cooked.

So anywayz, XD, tuesday, i went to work after school, from 4-10. After that, Derek, Alex, and Jackie came to pick me up and we went and chilled at Tim Hortons. They're really fun for straight people, and I text them both once in a while now. We then went to Alex's family store. It deals with security and key making and such. It was interesting that his family owns it. When we left, Derek realized he lost his phone. So after searching the entire van top to bottom, they went on a search for the phone.

It was eventually discovered in the parking lot of the Timmy's we'd been at. The kids too lucky sometimes haha.

So on Wednesday, I worked from 4 - 10 again. I was tired, but Dave called me on my walk home and said he was visiting Shane. So i decided to go out and have a smoke with him. We talked for about an hour or so outside, and had some cigarrettes. I was tired and cold after that so I went home XD.

I stayed awake talking to Nathaniel most of the night, and went to bed considerably later than I should have lol. But he's really nice, and as a hairdresser, this is working in two very good ways XD

AND THAT BRINGS ME TO TODAY. I want to sleep cause I didn't last night. So aside from plans to go dtown for 3 days (fri, sat, sun), I'm planning nothing tonite.

One night a week to myself isn't greedy bitches.

True Love~ 5ive and Steamy's

2005-10-07T04:16:46Z

The night just began when I got off work at 7:00pm last nite. I was tired, I had to wake up at 6 that morning to make it to school. But after work Dave, Shane, and Derek are waiting to drive to 5ive for college night. I feel like going, I feel like pumping my body to the beats so I quickly shower at home, and head straight downtown.

We meet up with Collin at Pizza Pizza and head to the bank quickly across [Church & Wellesley]. Derek withdraws some money and Justin meets up with us. We all head to Wellesley station and chill in front while André and his friend meet us.

Derek wants E for the night, and I wanted some too, even though I wanted to do coke more. I knew it would happen anywayz if I just hung around Justin enough lol.

So after a short chat in front of the station, me, justin, andre and his friend take off to get E. Person? Mikey. Should be the easiest way, Justin thought. No not really.

Alot of people are in the school's [Church St] playground. Shawn-e, trebor, ken and princesschris for starters. It was about 9:20 ish when we got there. Mikey was there, but he had no E yet. He was getting alot, but soon. So we wait and wait. Toots(criss) calls me and wants to get together. Problem with him coming to the school is that Shawn-e and trebor mugged him before and he was scared shitless. -_- yea i wonder... So I had a predicament, since i couldn't meet toots without abandoning Justin and the E for that nite. College nite would suck without E and shyt, I would not be stuck at 5ive sober... ewwwwww. So after waiting til about 10:30, we head to 5ive, with prospects of E at the club alone.

Derek, Dave and Shane meet us in the smoking area just after we arrived. While Justin and I had scoped for E and drugs, they had visited Cherry Beach briefly. They made it back just after 5ive opened its doors.

We got in, and got our E. I took 3, Derek: 3 and 1/2. Collin took 1, Justin i believe took 1 aswell.
So we went in and out, in and out, around, down, danced. Met alot of new people. My favourite: Danielle. What a sexy, coke-giving chick. Amazing.

In the club, I pulled Collin aside, and spoke to him quite seriously. Told him never to hurt Derek, and he'd regret it if he did. He took it in stride, and admitted he was falling in love with him. If Derek is happy, then I am happy for him. But I'll still be there to watch over him.

I danced with alot of people and several people I don't know bought me drinks lol. So I don't know exactly how much alcohol and coke i did, but mixed with the 3 E I was pretty fucked. After being outside around 2, me and Derek took a walk down the street. We had the most intimate conversation ever. We hugged alot and cried just a little. Might of been the drugs talking. We said we loved each other, more than anything else. That no matter what happened to either of us we'd always be there to protect and guide and just be there for each other. We both knew that boyfriends come and go, but this is going to last, last forever. We're greater than best friends.

We headed back to 5ive and almost immediatly (2:30am) took off to SteamWorks with André, Courtney, and Collin. We went back and forth between the hot tub, the sauna, smoking area, gym, and each others rooms constantly. Me and Courtney did some poppers~ UGH so trashy!

Open rooms were funny, people jerking off and slung ready to be fucked. I couldn't help but laugh and walk past. I didn't feel at all uncomfortable, I just found the whole thing comedic. But after all, Steamy's is like that. And with all the stuff going around, I was heavy with smoking. I must've chain-smoked 12ish cigarrettes over the night. And today, i have no addictive desire to smoke~ I don't think its addictive at all.

So eventually me and Courtney pass out for 25 min in my room at 8:00am. Derek and Collin woke me up hungry, and ready to go for breakfast~ ughhhh so sketchy and tired! But the feeling was so great, the night had just been awesome. A large part of me wishes Justin came too. But he had to take off.

So at 9, me, derek and collin (courtney stayed to sleep) went to mcdonalds to eat. I took one bite of my bagel and knew if I ate anymore I would toss it all XD Now I really know what Justin means by losing weight. In the last month, I've lost 18 pounds. I like being skinny ^_^ . errr, skinnier.

After we 'ate', we took off to Wellesley and took the subway. Me and derek parted ways with collin and took the 77.

The entire trip was great, because we talked and made fun of people on the bus. Fat and black people XD

I reached the city center, Derek had just taken off to sleep~ we had both been awake for over 30 hours then. I met up with Tia and Victoria and we went to the computer store so i could get my mp3 player, which I did ^_^. Then we went back to the mall and ate lunch, again which I didn't eat very much of. I saw Dakota, (my friends bro addicted to me lol) and some friends from school. I talked to them about the night before and then went back to join my friends. After eating, I took off to go home around 2:30 in the afternoon. Its funny, cuz that was exactly 12 hours after checking into steamy's. I got home at 3 to shower and hook up my mp3 before going to work. I started @ 4, and ended at 10.

I was so tired but I pulled off an amazing shift. The promotion will be well worth my efforts. Only 12 more days til the promotion is announced officially ! yay, my pay was $7.55 and now it will be $8.05. Beautiful, just beautiful.

I got home, changed, and sat here to reflect about the last 2 days. At 12 when I go to bed I will have been awake 42 hours approx. Its just insane! I can't believe I can do that!

^_^ looking forward to thanksgiving.

I'm thankful for Derek being there in my life, as my best friend, as everything I need to keep my self-esteem booming and me happy even when life is shyt. We don't anything but each other to have a great night, and thats amazing. And I'm even more thankful he's found someone that will treat him with respect, and dignity. The strength of our bond grows with every experience we have.

So nite nite all, the 42nd hour approaches and I am exhausted.. and no longer sketched ahah. <3

It Takes Two

2005-10-02T22:09:26Z

So yesterday was Laura's party, to which I didn't attend. No booze, no sex, no drugs... and Derek wasn't allowed to come! Life is worth so little when you have nothing =/

Instead, Derek and I went downtown, and like everytime I go, this was no exception to a great evening. ^_^

We wanted to go clubbing, its a weekend, its saturday, FUCK! We're not staying in Brampton, or going to fucking timmy's. We're a different kind of trash. And the entire day begins at around 2pm.

Rick calls me, as he's leaving to go to Stefan's. First of all, I thought Rick was pissed at me all week for some reason, and this is the first time hearing from him in days. Forgive me if Derek and I have prior arrangements, and I don't treasure the pissy attitude he shows all too often. Stefan on the other hand I did have a genuine want to see that day.

So back to the original story. 2:45pm I take off from my house, with a bag of clothes, dressed in my sexy Parasuco pants. Once again I forgot my cell charger haha. The bus gets there at 3:02 (right on schedule) and derek and I are furiously texting back and forth the 77 schedule and timings and busing and such.

We had no plans, no sure fire thing, and that's what was great about it. We were gonna take our hotness to the streets and play it by ear. And we did ^^

So first off, we head to Church and Wellesley (where else?) and grab some pizza to eat. The gurl there was like, the finest bitch ever~ we were talking about E and how she got so stoned last week when she turned 19. Derek was straight for a little while after. The asians that don't smell are really cool.

And speaking of Asians, I call up my friend Nathan to meet us down there. We both like him, he's cool. He's half chinese, half Jamaican. The mix is so sexy. And we wander around a little, drop by tattoo parlour to check pricing on eyebrow piercings. Next paycheque : Oct 6th: Eyebrow Piercing. - 50 bucks. Not bad. In the mean time, Derek continues to feel up his new baby (knife) and stroking it gently, to a degree where most white people get scared.

We ran into to Chris/Toots with Angela and talked for awhile, about 15 min before splitting ways once again. We went up to Wellesley park and Nathan met us there. We just hung out there for awhile. We went to went browsing in a couple of stores, tried on some things, then eventually went to lub for a snack.

I've heard good things about it, but, meh, I don't see what the big fuss about this place is. Justin called me while we were there, wanting to come down, but having nothing to do. He told us about a birthday party at buddies. He was gonna arrive within the hour, so by 8:30-9 ish. We walked Nathan to the station, and we said our goodbyes there. He had a show to go to, and although we could've went with him and stayed at his place, we had our own agenda to attend to.

So we take off to Burger King, being the fat ass bitches we are, and pig out some more. Aha, its about 9:30 now, and since Justin is yet to show, we walk from there to Fly. We got there at 10, but they didn't open til 10:15, and its free entrance til 11. Just like every other place, I didn't have a problem getting in, and although Derek's I.D. was 18, the bouncer let him in anywayz. Derek kept shaking cuz he was so nervous XD.

Once in, we got some drinks, chilled at the bar for a while. We saw people we knew, Dorian (celebrating his 21st birthday!) and Roberto. Happy Birthday Dorian ^_^.

Dorian got Derek's first E.

Then we met up with Scott, this cute azn guy with a really nice jacket that I want. His friend got Derek his second E. Admist all this, we were dancing and drinking, and moving from floor to floor to floor. I poured juice on people ^_^.

Security twice told me to get my feet off the seat, so in revenge, Derek, with the knife he snuck in with, cut the seat open. Ahaha, XD.

So after ALL that, @ 2 Tyler came to pick us up, and we went back to his hotel. Derek's 2nd E was a light orange, and thinking back to a conversation about E I had not long ago, this indicates a high level of heroin. Derek was sweating and dying, scratching his head in an orgasm of heat. He didn't sleep all night, instead, he moaned, tossed and turned, keeping Ty awake. Muhahah! I slept 5 hours~! More than them, which is what counts.

We took off from Toronto at about 10:30, and Tyler dropped us off, Derek at his bench, me at my house.

Sexiness, the nite was so much fun. Its great when all we need to have fun is the two of us, and not be dependant on anyone else. Besides, if Tyler hadn't come along, we would've slept at Steamworks. Ha, we were fine with whatever came our way.

<3 Best Friends~

*P.s. Derek insisted he be the topic of this post.

I can't believe I didn't do drugs~ XD <3

How to make an Impure_Teen

Ingredients:

3 parts anger

5 parts courage

3 parts wisdom

Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add sadness to taste! Overindulge!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

The Young and the Restless

2005-09-24T04:59:29Z

So Thursday I had a closing shift at work, which I successfully got rid of. Originally I was like, ok, do nothing, go home, sleep, get some rest.

Yea well, I'm a retard haha. I never just sit and rest when theres something to do. So here's Thursday.

After school, went to the mall with Tia briefly, while she checked payment plans on very expensive ($2,500) afrikann birds. Rite... well they were pretty, some type of parrot I think. LoL give the girl who kills beta fish wants a parrot. XD

Anwyayz, she takes off and Lea calls me. Hadn't met her yet, but she was this cool chick I met off faceparty. Seemed simple enough. She wanted me to meet up with her, Toots, and some other gay guys. I was like.. yea ok, where? Square One. Sexy. Still went anywayz.

Got there at 5. Met up at microplay and played DDR there. Holy shyt, is it a gay thing to be good at this? HA I still kick ass I don't care what any azn says to me. So yea off topic, but, it turns out that there were quite a few people there.

Other than me, there was Lea, Taka and Daarian, Chrissy (Toots) and Aeryn, and this guy I call Zach but I think his name is Kyle. All gay but Lea, the only girl too lol. We played a while and then went for food.

Ate at New york fries with Chrissy and then we went shopping :D sexy - girls pants are sooo much sexier than guys. Shows off my package too. I think i will buy like... all the clothes i can from now on lol. The ones i bought were 130$. not bad i guess. I have a nice ass.

Apparently since I am just that sexy, Taka and Daarian want to have a 3some with me. Lol fun. That would bring my total up to what... 4 now lol. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE THIRD----

Rite... so i wore my pants home and slept in them cuz I fell asleep too fast. haha. Sexy nite overall. Soon me and derek will chill and bring the weekend to a close.

And the good thing about this all is that everyone was between 15 and 17. Finally, I get to be older than someone. Fuck.

@_@ nite nite all

Powder Queen

2005-09-19T04:08:13Z

Last nite ranks as one of the best nites I've had ever. And since all my really fun nites happen downtown, one of the best times downtown.

Usually I don't enjoy homohops, but this was such an exception.

So Derek and I have become the best of friends, and we love it so much. Sexy. So goin with him, it was like, us, sexy and taking over everything. Everything about us flows. Thats what makes us best friends.
So, we head from Pacific Mall to his mom's work @ 5:30. Too early to go downtown for sure. Me and Derek needed a place to stay and it was originally gonna be with Jamal at his mom's spa (yea i know, weird). Me and Derek weren't too excited about that, but we wanted to hop so it was worth it.

Derek had a pill of E on him, and after lotz of talking with Justin, he pulled another 2. He took those 3 over the course of 2-ish hours.

Well we showed up to 5ive @ 9:45 ~ opening @ 10? I dunno the line was so fucking huge, all the way to Yonge, and it actually stayed that way rite up until we left so much later. Anywayz, we went in, I got a drinking/smoking band and we went in. We split up with Jamal and his friends once we entered.

We sat in the corner, made some requests, got some water. Derek took his first E~ I don't like E, so I never touch the shyt. But Derek found his new passion. And we broke so we could go get some action. He found a black guy ahahaha. NiGGEr!

Derek TXT: You know that smell you smell when ur next to a black person, i smelt that, then realized that I was walking behind one, haha.

<3 Nice.

I found a cute guy wearing this nice red shirt. Made out with him for a little while, well until I got Justin's text telling me he was in line. Then I took off to the bathroom, and then the drinking area. Justin meets up with me after giving Derek his E, and he's with his friend Eric. We have a smoke outside.

After saying hi to more people >< and meeting up with Matt Sims briefly, me, justin and eric, go down to the bathroom. Me and Justin brace ourselves against the wall and we each do a bump of Coke.

Then we go upstairs, dance some more, have another smoke, and do it again. This time we went to the girl's bathroom cuz their stalls are bigger. YAY my nostril was all numb but it was so nice.

Went to the bar, had a shooter, tasted like blackliquorish. It was really strong, it burned for several minutes and set my stomach aflame XD It was Eric's treat <3 The music @ 5ive was so great we danced for so long.

~Kelly Clarkson : Since You've Been Gone
~Black Eyed Peas : Pump It
~Darude : Sandstorm
~Rihanna : Pon De Replay
~Beenie Man : King of the Dancehall

Good songs like that! Well those are like the best club songs for me really. Great beats. Those were just some examples anyway lol. Me and Derek requested all of those. So after all the coke and drinks, i think a had a diet coke and rum too before my second bump, we danced the rest of the time. Me and Justin, me and derek, or us all 3, it was so hot XD! Like half naked bodies pumping in the heat. AND THE HEAT holy shyt. The club was SO hot, and outside it was soo cold. We went out from time to time to take a breath, and we froze. But anywayz, we rotated dancing and being outside for the last hour and left @ 2. Justin invited us back to his house to sleep afterwards, so we didn't have to stay with Jamal.

So at 2am, Derek, Me, Justin, Sims, Eric, Chris Brown, Trevor and some friend of sims named Colin went back to Eric's place. There we shared weed and I did two more lines of coke with Justin and Eric, and Trevor periodically. I was cracked but Derek got attached to Colin real quick haha. He liked him so much, and he lives in Scarborough. We left @ 3:30 to go back to sauga. We as in, 5 of us cuz we had to stick derek on the floor lol. Justin, me, Derek, Trevor and Chris. Justin's brother was really hesitant to drive but he did eventually. We dropped Chris off at home, and let Derek pee. -_-

Back @ Justin's, we just chilled for awhile. Trevor and Derek watched TV while Justin and I did some more weed in the Kitchen. Derek and Trevor slept in the same bed and passed out around 5ish. Me and Justin took a walk to get some air. I felt like my body was so tired, but I couldn't sleep cuz I was so sketched. Lol it was funny. We talked for awhile. Then we headed back to his house. We talked more in the kitchen, and around 7:30 we went into his sister's room to sleep. There were bunkbeds.

I woke up the next morning at 11 to Justin's cell. He did too. I took off derek's sweater that I'd been wearing all nite, even though he asked me NOT to sleep in it lol. I climbed down off the bunk and slid into bed with Justin instead (i was invited so pshaw), I got my sleep before. We passed out on the tiny bed for another two hours. The next time I woke up was to Derek sitting on the floor in front of us smiling. What a knob lol.

We got up, made ourselves decent, and we all went out. Me and Derek were dropped off at Square One and the other guys went for more weed lol. We picked up some chips and coke from Zellers and made the long bus ride home. Me and Derek talked the entire 3 hour ride back lol. We both agreed the nite was awesome, and awesome because we were both there.

Derek went home and so did I. Then I worked for 4 hours, and came home to write this and print my story for class tomorrow.

<3 Best nite in a long time~

Toronto On SchoolDays~

2005-09-16T03:46:22Z

Okay so I found that I can't just give up on my social life and turn completely to school. Although I have cut back alot, I still want to go downtown, meet up with people, do whatever, and still be asleep by 12. Not like THAT happens very often but heres how I view it.

I get to the city center around 3:15ish give or take a few (considering school ends at 2:40) ~ and I can take the 77 straight to Finch. From which, I can go anywhere. And I can usually stay there 3-4 hours and make it back by 11.

I like that.

So I tried it~ I went to meet up with a friend, AJ, on Wednesday. Well first I saw Bryan, and he looks much different. o.o;;; It's weird to think how much things have changed after a simple couple months. Anywayz, I deter. Ummm, I got my headphones back from him. Bryan originally had them, then Jordan had them to give to me. And when I didn't see Jordan for 3 weeks, I told Bryan to get me the headphones, cause I'd see him more than I would Jordan since he has to go to the mall like everyday. Or at least by it. Meeting Bryan didn't mean anything but getting my headphones back, no emotional string attached to it whatsoever. If there was one, I would've kept them with Jordan.

Umm lets see... oh yea Wednesday. So I took the 77 down to Finch, transfered to the subway, transfered to the greenline and met up with AJ at Castle Frank. Then we went to his house off Main St.

He's really good at, everything >< Singing, dancing~ I'm quite impressed by his artistic abilities. I'm still glad I have the best piano talent around ^_^. So I played a bit, we ate some food, meh, it was his birthday the day before, he turned 17, so I thought that was a good enough reason to be around. Took off around 9ish and made it home for 11.

Called Sexy Rick~ yea, I thought I'd nickname him, jsut because it annoys him XD

And I texted a million people on the bus ride home. EVERYONE~ for a second I considered staying downtown for college night and meeting up with Justin and Matt Sims. Well at the time I didn't know Matt Sims was there, but Justin was so bleh.

The day was good, and I'm gonna go to S.Rick's tomorrow to watch sailor moon ^^

OK I LIKE IT~ >< What other show has lesbians and transgendered crime fighters? Yea, just wait to see the "Gentle Uterus" attack in Season 5. Rick = Gentle Uterus.

Stefan woke me up yesterday with a call XD Was well placed too. JUST as I fell asleep lol. Talked for a while and he called me today instead. We talked for my entire break about blahness. Which is what everything I seem to talk about ends up at.

And I know my cellphone bill is gonna be high now that derek has his cellphone back. When he goes to work (and I go to school) = 20ish texts. You know how many I get a month? 75!!! XD The person I like getting texts from most is Bryan tho. <3 Who wouldn't love getting texts from your lover in Texas. Oh I need to show everyone his sexy grad pic.

And I bought sexy sexy speakers for my computer with the money I made from Guelph! YES! Surround System Sound, 6 speaker, subwoofer enhanced. HOW MUCH?! 67$! Yea, thats rite, liquidation prices! Congratulations to DaveK on showing me TigerDirect and their cheap prices and <3 to stefan for the cheap cheap computer.

So Now I am off to bed, cuz it took 20 minutes to write this post, and I still have to type my short story about the lesbians who cheat on each other with their mothers and kill people on the side.

500 words of pure wordy glory.

And sex. Gotta love a giant pink taco in your face ^_^.

<(^.^)> Later!

To Guelph We Go

2005-09-10T06:00:32Z

Yay! Road Trip!

So my talents have brought me more fun. Out of town fun I find. And I didn't have to go to school today! YAY!

Okay so here's what happened:

I had to perform w/ my friend Andrew as his accompanist for the University of Guelph. (Guelph just happens to be where my dad and stepmom live.) Anywayz, the performance was @ 1 and Andrew has a dorm room. So we went up the night before so I wouldn't have to wake up early.

University doesn't have any classes started yet so there are major frat parties going on, and lotz of drinking and *drools*.

Sexy.

Can't remember most of the nite, but we both woke up in the main hall around nine in the morning by campus police. They told us to move or they would be kicking us off campus. i was like PSH KICK ME OFF! SEE IF I CARE! Andrew did, so we changed in his room and went for the audition. I wore Rick's black shirt he gave me. Its ok... replaces the one Derek ruined. WHICH REMINDS ME. *cough cough* someone's getting me a new shirt tomorrow bitch!

Anywayz, I accompanied Andrew on Clarinet half hung over, but was still paid $50 to do it. And then I slept on the way home.

I worked at 4, and got off at 8. I'm too trashed to do anything, I think I'll stay home.

I feel rejuvenated now, woke up to come on MSN after and stuff. Was great ^_^. Tyler is supposed to come into Brampton to hang with me, then I'll be w/ Derek and his str8 friends (who apparently want to meet me) and then, who knows. Can't find any E *tear* (sorry D ; ;) but whatever >< And if Dave comes through like he said me and Derek have a ride :D

Guy called me before I went up to Guelph, errr, well half way up there. Its cool to talk to him again. Kinda miss his company~ but he sounds well. All around everything's great.

Rick went to Stefan's (does he have anywhere else to go ? XD) and has 10 dollars to his name so i guess he won't be hanging with us very much ~

If I get bored later I'll pull a trick on sunday. Make me another $200 to put toward this computer.

Feeling good all around. Hope Texas is still hot bry O.o;; I'm still expecting a letter from you! Put your return address on it so I can reply!

So theres a couple of interesting people in my life right now, alot who are expressing interest. Me and Derek think its funny XD ~ AJ is the most interesting so far, and I can't get that freaking song he sung out of my head. He's gotta be one of the most talented singers i've heard in person before.

I also got some left over cake~ Elijah (little bro) turns 2!

~Talk to everyone later~ Bye bye ^_^

To Orangeville We Go

2005-09-05T07:35:43Z

The events in this livejournal take place between the hours of 5:00pm abd 3:00am Sept. 04.

So we travel to Orangeville to meet Arielle. Adam, me, Rick, and derek are going 150 in his old red car. I think I'm going to die, but I guess I was wrong. >< Derek brought his knife and made numerous holes. Rick was scared~ there was a 90% chance he could have been stabbed at some point.

"Aaadddaaammm" is all we hear the entire ride up cuz Derek wants to drive. Eventually he does. He's not a bad driver by any chance, but, only when he wants to be XD And thats not often.

So we pick up Arielle and eat a A&W~ then we go back to Arielle's house. After a little while of hide and go seek, Derek and I wander into Adam's car where Derek finds his keys. Derek + keys + car = joyride ^_^ Now that was scary driving. Adam was mad, of course, but he <3 us all so he couldn't stay mad ^_^.

Then we drove to Kelsey's to meet Dave and Shayne. It was the Kelseys by Hwy 410, the one Jordan manages. He gave us free milkshakes. I like milkshakes ^_^. I also poked rick several times. He probably doesn't want me to say where o.o

And then we went home. Dave dropped off Derek and Rick, Adam took off before kelseys actually, and me and Dave went for a couple smokes. It was cold out and about 2:55 when I walked in the door.

Today, I worked alot *4:30 - 1:00* and am just ready to collapse into FF-ness. School's starting soon, blah...

Why tonite?

2005-09-03T05:59:01Z

Omg I can't believe I missed out on doing something today >< ~

I end work @ 5 and up til then, my cellphone was working fine. I don't get any calls after 7 and, yea, not to boast, but that's really weird. I at least have a wrong number >< Anywayz, I was planning on going to 5ive, gathering some people together from downtown cause Stefan was busy, and Rick was like, brb off the planet. With Kelly? ~dunno, maybe he went to Bodack.

A couple of hours pass and I'm like, ok, no one got back to me. Yea, kinda ticked me off, but hey, not the end of the world. Not like I used MSN or anything. So I sleep a little bit, and wake up at about midnite, totally bored and lamenting Brampton. My hair looks so good though, although the shock could've killed a small horse. I styled it just for fun <3~ I took a quick shower and remember all my brothers have gone with my dad. My mom/ken went out for dinner + movie so I'm here alone. Oh boy, strike 2 on my nite of wonder.

No calls on my cell, no texts. Ok... I plan on sleeping again, when my cellphone like explodes. 3 texts, 5 missed calls, 2 voicemail~ I'm like holy shyt O.O;;;

My stupid cellphone fucked up. Everyone IS downtown.

And because of stupid motherfucking Rogers, I can't meet up with all the people who wanted to meet up with me. Some I haven't seen in a while either, since me and Guy ended.

Great, the one weekend before school, the last time I can go to 5ive for a long long time and this happens. <3 to those who tried to contact me.

I'm going to sleep, to wait for my new computer tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow Stef, and hopefully Derek + Rick too. Screw Downtown. I hate everywhere.

___________________________________

Yesterday: Wow the most amazing day. <3 Pork Buns. Rik and I get along really well, and its hard for me to do that one on one with someone. Watched anime, sailor moon and ranma. And started to watch this comedy but I had to leave.

The biggest thing about this was my hair. He did an awesome job with it. I almost crapped myself when I saw it, but Rik really liked it. I made me like it. Now I like it, cuz I do think it looks good.
Maybe not as good as blonde, but come on, I've been blonde since I was born XD

<3<3<3~ and a quote that can't be beat.. hehe...
"That reminds me of a pie thing.. what do you call it?"
"A pie?"
"Yea!"

-_-

You Should Learn Français!

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.
You are definitely a Parisian at heart. Vous êtes une belle personne avec l'esprit et l'âme des saisons.

What Language Should You Learn?

Work, work, work

2005-09-01T06:22:13Z

I'm tired again~ I can't believe I get paid close to minimum wage for this shyt.

Minimum wage... seriously, if they could pay me less, they would~ too bad its illegal. Oh well, what has mcdonald's done that isn't illegal. Some people there have NEVER washed their hands. I do once in a while. XD All my shifts now a days are 8 hours- not that i mind that, but, there goes the day. I love money <3

So Kyle called me today out of the blue. When was the last time I spoke to him? Must of been when him and Boni were still a thing. Wow was that messed up... I think he has a thing for me. Well, I guess since he told me it'd be true XD - that was a challenge. Too bad I don't like him~ some things should be that easy. And as for weird random calls? Todays the day. One from my guidance councellor too. She tells me that I'm gonna have a spare in each semester and I can't take Studies in Lit. because I'm overbooked. ??? does that makes sense to anyone? And I'm still graduating with 8 gr. 12 credits. oh boy, i'm overzealous.

And thats the end of August. ~ Can't wait for the computer Stefan is tweaking for me. I'm gonna put it in my room.. somewhere o.o;;

At least I have tomorrow off, I'm so doing something. Sleep til 3 and I'll decide then. XD

Deep Scars

2005-08-29T05:57:21Z

Some things are worth fighting for, and I know that in life, you have to at least try.

So today we went briefly to Pacific Mall. We as in, me, rick, derek, adam, and carol. Also includes Jemal but he came later.

Now here's a retarded ride for ya. While fighting over the map, Adam's Ipod flies out the window, MAYBE being my fault. Ok so it was my fault but meh. I wouldn't have fought over the map if Adam didn't try and take us to fucking Ajax.

AnYwHo, we didn't eat @ sake again cuz it was $22 on dinner prices and ... no... i don't think so XD. I bought a DVD called "My Life On Ice" - a french gay film. Coming of age maybe?

Chilled at stefan's after, and found out I left my wallet with Adam. I trust him not to take my monies XD why? i dunno - but i counted it! I should get it tomorrow.

And i got home around 11 and went rollerblading around the lake. Sometimes its life's simple pleasures that get you high. Not crappy E (COUGH.. derek) XD
haha

And now I'm gonna watch my movie. And think about a certain someone...

XD

*muah* if you would ever read this. TRY to sleep well? I really feel something for you~

To everyone else~ ciao y estoy durmiendo todo la manana ^_^

Blahhh

2005-08-27T06:51:47Z

I'm so blah rite now. Derek is sick and yea, the E he took didn't make it better.

OHHH well, it was probably the yellow ones with heroin too. ~<3

E is funny ~ you never get a pill with the same amount of... anything i guess.

"red is mushy
blue is speedy
yellow is mellow
green is normal(ish)"

~ quote courtesy of the many teachings of Guy.

______________________________
Back to real life, I worked again today and Tabatha just had to be there. This woman isn't the devil per se, but most likely an incarnate or subordinate of sorts. She came up to me and criticized how i washed the towels. You have to put them in the washer nicely~.

Good thing she didn't bend over cause I'd put them *nicely* up her ass.

Guess I'm going to Owen Sound tomorrow, and now derek's not going. Soooo, I hope its not boring. Maybe I should bring Carol... haha no. My str8 friends invited me to have dinner with them that night too.

Tiffany, Tia, Victoria. Hm, I loved those dinners. We could sit @ Casey's for like an hour and do nothing. Thats the different between gay and str8 people, why must we obtain constant and non-free entertainment? ughhhhh.

EEEK! I won a free movie pass at work too! I just remembered haha. ^_^ yay! Actually I won two, but someone stole my other pass. Oh well, I would've given it to someone else anywayz, but at least I have one for myself.

AnYwAyZ, need sleep ~ talk later.

What Kind of Super-Villian Are You?
LJ Username
Pick An Evil Number
Pick An Evil Word
Pick An Evil Color
You Are	A Black Knight
Your Evil Lair Is	The Haunted Woods
Your Evil Name Is	Lady Doom Fury
Your Nemesis Is	spector68
Your Evil Hardware of Choice Is	An Unholy Relic
Your Partner In Crime Is	squall_

This QuickKwiz by ezralitemikey - Taken 32997 Times. </a>